Obligatory No on 8 Post

As far as I know, I don't have any readers in California. And if I did, I'm sure they would already be voting No on 8. But it's a very important issue--one I'll be watching nearly as closely as the presidential election.

I attended Grinnell College in Iowa, a school I picked partially based on Lisa Birnbach's College Book. Within the first week of school, two things happened. I 1) hooked up with the guy that would be my boyfriend for the next four years and 2) joined the Grinnell College Gay Community. I'm unpredictable like that.

In mid-October 1987, just a couple of weeks before my 18th birthday, I hoped in a van with my fellow gays and allies and drove to Washington, DC for the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.



See me? I'm in the front row wearing the red sweatshirt. Our banner is subtitled "the San Francisco of the Midwest."

Here I am again with my friend Scott:



For the second half of high school and the first year of college, I identified as bisexual. I had never had a girlfriend, only a couple of boyfriends, but I really thought that I was an equal opportunity lover.

Realizing that I was straight was a coming out process for me. It wasn't what I wanted really, but I had to own up to my biological imperative. I finally had to admit that I was born this way.

This sounds facetious, but I'm dead serious. I was living in a very open, welcoming community. Many of my friends were out--or came out--as gay or lesbian in those days. And I really wanted to be part of that. But college is the time to learn about yourself, and to accept yourself as who you are.

And so I accepted that I was straight and didn't think about any missed opportunities when I married The Artist, just six months after first meeting him.

Getting married was easy. A trip to the courthouse, sign some papers and head back to the apartment to make homemade pizza and drink champagne with our closest friends. And I think it should be that easy for everyone, regardless of their gender. Because we all know that the wedding is just the beginning. A marriage means work, commitment, compromise--and everyone deserves a chance to see if they have what it takes.