I have the usual symptoms: lack of focus, crying, sadness, exhaustion. It's now dark and raining (a lot) here and I've just squeaked past the Birthday Season and am headed towards the Holiday Season and the 19th anniversary of my mom's death.
I would also like to reveal the magic number: $14, 451.07. This is my debt. It does not include a mortgage, school loans or car loans. It is the number that is keeping me from buying my own house and going back to school. It is huge and feels unmanageable. Today (maybe later) I'm going to do something about it. (Notice that I do not say "our debt" or that "we" might soon deal with it. Frankly, The Artist is a useless bum. But I love him.)
I am going to couple my Prozac with counseling. Today I saw a nice woman named Helen Paris (ancient myth much?) who suggested that part of my problem was also my "isolation" (read: "lack of friends"). She also mentioned excercise might be a Good Thing, preferrably coupled with socialization. Let's just add up all the ways in which that won't happen:
- I have no money for organized recreation
- We're getting heavy rain (In fact we may end up having the rainiest November on record.)
- I have no friends, and my new acquantances are all skinny
- I can barely make it to work each day
- I'm fat and slow and easily sore and tired
- I hate excercise
The Artist is pleased that the counsellor recommended excercise because his favorite phrase is "do more yoga." Bastard. I hate yoga. I also just spent $35 at the MSUUF silent auction for two-hours of private yoga instruction. Maybe I'll donate them to the Gallery's silent auction next month.
_________
PREVIOUS COMMENTS
Reconsider yoga. Start with an easy, beginners class. It's GREAT for depression because it focuses on breathing techniques and stretching. I was completely out of shape when I started yoga -- couldn't even touch my toes. I swear by it now.Good luck!rikki Homepage 11.16.06 - 7:32 am
Magic numbers suck. I have some of my own. I don't like them, they stare at me every day and I wonder how I can run from them. Gee, I can't.But I agree with Rikki. Yoga is awesome. It is so much more than something to do with your body. Your mind is as big a participant as your body. Make yourself go multiple times. After a little while, you won't have to MAKE yourself go, you'll want to go. You will see some of those skinny yoga goddesses, however, do not let that deter you, Budda ain't skinny.You will love yourself a teeny little bit more each time you practice. I promise.Melmelissa 11.16.06 - 9:26 am
I used to hate exercise, and now that my wounded limb is keeping me from doing it, I am pissed. Anti-depressants are nothing to be ashamed of, and help many a person through rough times, especially those weather-related rough times. Hang in there sweetheart. We are pulling for you!rosie Homepage 11.17.06 - 11:32 am
I hate exercise too. And I laughed aloud at your point about your new aquaintances being skinny.You are in a funk, to be sure. You will feel better.You're cool.gypsy Homepage 11.17.06 - 2:09 pm
Is there belly dancing class nearby? Happy Birthdays by the way - Congratulations on your 'pot!' Knitting is the new Yoga - you thought it was boring in Canada too! If you were here you could come to my classes! Fiona xfiona mackey 11.18.06 - 11:46 am
is your blog now only monthly? How's things?rikki 12.08.06 - 11:31 am
Where are you?!fiona mackey 12.09.06 - 8:33 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment