Third Verse Same as the First

tap, tap, tap Is this thing on?

Okay, so today I have logged my breakfast. I didn't eat enough. I logged my snack. It was coffee with vanilla artificial creamer. And a lettuce leaf from my co-worker's garden.

Not a super (re)start, but I'm more determined than ever to get off my ass and get going. My friend Mel just posted the "Why I Tri" story I asked her to write. So inspiring, since I never would have guessed that she'd be doing triathlons at 40/41 years old.

I'm now less than 4 months until my own 40th birthday. And fat. And often unhappy, depressed. I think I hide it pretty well. But this weekend I learned that my aunt took her own life. I didn't even know she was bi-polar.

My wrist, which I sprained last Sunday, is better. I'm not sure I'm coordinated enough for tennis. I really want to learn to run. But I can't even talk to my husband about this. When I expressed that I wanted to "walk a little faster" he told me it was a bad idea and seems to take every opportunity to dis "power walking." He makes me crazy.

This isn't supposed to be a blog about my relationship, but I know that my emotions are tied directly to my eating and exercising. I need more support. When our daughter made baked potatoes the other day for dinner (with sour cream and bacon, mind you) he was so disappointed that he made me take him out for Taco Bell. I don't know if I can get healthy around him.

I'm oddly excited about seeing the doctor on 7/8. I want to have my IUD removed and see what happens with my body. I sort of want to be told that I'm not healthy and need to make lifestyle changes--doctor's orders.

It's a few minutes past noon. I think I'm going to take my hairy armpits to the store and buy a sports bra.